idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
