If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
