I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
