can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
