spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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