Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
