Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
