if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
His hands were made for my vagina.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize