she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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