if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
