u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So many bounce houses so little time
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
