we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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