i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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