ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
