Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
