i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
