Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize