dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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