nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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