well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
