you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
