____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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