we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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