I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
