He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
