If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
