woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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