The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
