Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
