So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
