I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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