you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
