I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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