Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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