i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize