Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
