Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We don't watch enough power rangers
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
