Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize