i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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