Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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