Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
