Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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