That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
