remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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