I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
