bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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