I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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