She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
