Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
