How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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