Moan for me like Helen Keller
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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