Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
