ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
