He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
