she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
