good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
