I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
