Screwed.edu
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
