Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
