i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
organizing the empties. That sober.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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