I bet he comes in French.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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