check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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