I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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