i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
