4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
