New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize