I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
