Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
