seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
