last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my being single is dangerous.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize